very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
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