this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
