Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Sext me about skeletons
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
