Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
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