Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
