foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
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