Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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