youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Drunk walkin through police station. America
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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