I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
