Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize