can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
Randomize
