It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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