great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
