it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Dude I can't believe you let me go home with the wildabeast lastnight.
You always hook up with hot girls we had to know you were mortal
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
You dont lie about slip and slides
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Randomize
