WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
