Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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