Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
