I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
