Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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