I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Randomize
