yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
is wine microwaveable?
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
