ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
Life is so much better after having sex.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
