8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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