Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
I still have a little drunk in my system
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
