i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Is it penis luge time yet?
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
My unemployment came through so I'd like to thank the taxpayers of Utah in advance for my level of intoxication this weekend
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
