I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
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