Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Randomize
