fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
