This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
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