hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
