YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
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