A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Randomize
