I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
