Told my mom a bit ago she'd meet you tonight
Um...??
She's excited
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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