seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
apparently in the middle of sex, i said "i just really love the food network i watch it every day"
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
Randomize
