We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I’M PUT OFF FROM FOOD RN BC EARLIER I GOT SOME WATER AND I WAS 4 SIPS IN WHEN I NOticed A FUCKING BURGER KING F R Y IN MY D R I N K
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