oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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