I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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