i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
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