I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
