Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
