A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I hate being near you and not being able to do what I want. It's like a recovering alcoholic tending bar. I feel like Sam Malone. Except I can't bang the cute chick I work with.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Oh god, I forgot we had sex to Elton John
Randomize
