32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Walking in to my alcoholic Assessment meeting with a black eye = 40% awkward 60% awesome
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
