have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
