He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
Randomize
