Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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