you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
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