You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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