did you get engaged???
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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