Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Well, I just hope you know I had your best interests at heart when I put your sandwich down my pants.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
