you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Is that strawberry winking at me??
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
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