dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I accidentally broke up with him while I was drunk which is really too bad since I'd just gotten a birth control perscription so we could start having sex.
Do you think he'd take me back if I said "dude, we need to get back together or this IUD is going to have an existential crisis for not realizing its full potential"?
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
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